i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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