At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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