Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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