I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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