i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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