What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
