she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize