let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
