someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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