Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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