Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
