Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
