I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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