My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
