but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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