Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
