my vag is so smooth its legendary
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
