she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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