When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
