All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
