those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
