I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just invented taco cereal.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
