i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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