I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
