The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
