So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
