He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
