i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
