Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
