why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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