guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
