whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
