She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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