i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
