a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
