There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
