Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
