cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
