my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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