Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
