I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is Oprah even human
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize