the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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