Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
