woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
