Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
