Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
