he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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