Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
