WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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