Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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