I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
