beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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