He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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