I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
