sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
