Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
