If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
