Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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