She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
