talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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