i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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