whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
